Do you ever feel like your past is holding you back from creating the life you really want to have? We all have a story. We all have trauma, challenges, and experiences that have happened that shape us into who we become.
You can rise up and begin reshaping the stories you have about what’s happened to you so you can use them for good. You can look at your past and thank it for shaping you into the warrior you are today. You do that by facing your shadows and the darkness and choosing to heal from the inside out so you can be who you really are.
“Take a deep breath and remember who the f you are.”
I have a conversation with my friend and Life Coach, Meghan Wier, about healing from the inside out. On the Fierce Forward Podcast we go deep into trauma and moving beyond our shadow self. It was a powerful episode you can listen to on iTunes or Spotify here. Here's some really big takeaways from the conversation.
1. Face Your Shadow Self
Meghan said her motto is, “Run towards your shadows and you’ll be set free.” Along her healing journey, Meghan said she learned that it is so important to work through the things in your past, but it’s also important to move beyond that.
Your shadow self is basically the part of yourself you don’t want to see or go to. Meghan explains that the shadowy parts of ourselves are the parts we deny about ourselves, the parts that hold on to old memories and wounds. It’s when we get activated or triggered by things we haven’t allowed ourselves to heal from such as shame and guilt.
It can be very scary and uncomfortable to face your shadow self and truly hear those parts that you suppressed for so long. But it’s therapeutic and necessary to be able to step into your true self.
2. Come Home to Who You Really Are
To heal and find your true self, Meghan says you have to come back to being you. That means you have to unlearn all the things that have been ingrained from outside influences. You must remember who you are. When talking about her journey, Meghan said “I’m not Meghan 2.0 here, it’s the OG Meghan who I abandoned along the way because it didn't feel safe to be in her body.” Because of the bad experiences that happen to us, it makes sense to want to disconnect and disassociate because it doesn’t feel safe.“Finding yourself is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hand on you.” - Emily McDowell
Part of coming home to who you really are is learning you don’t need external love and validation to be accepted. You need to love and accept yourself for who you are, all of you, even your shadow self.
Inner child work is also huge on this healing journey. A lot of the shadowy parts come from our childhood. Meghan says like she once did, go back to that little girl and let her know she’s safe and supported, and it’s ok to be in this space.
3. Energy is Everything
Energy can change your life if you let it. Meghan says it’s important to learn how to tap into the energies around you. She believes many of us people please because we can feel when someone’s energy is off and we try to compensate.
We have to understand that others’ energy isn’t our responsibility to take on. Meghan says it’s key to be able to discern what energy is yours and what isn’t and come back to the space of your own energy.
Meghan shared some easy practices to help with this. One way is to envision yourself deeply grounded and breathe the unwanted energy out envisioning yourself clearing it out. Another is to say in your mind “I release you” or “I’m safe, I’m supported” and repeat that until you feel your own energy again.
4. The More You Receive, The More You Give
Growing up, like most of us, Meghan learned to give in order to receive love and acceptance. She became a people pleaser. Does anybody else relate to that?!
She’s now realized she had been blocking receiving because it didn’t feel safe at the time, and she had no control. But she depleted herself by giving in order to receive.
Instead, reframe this approach to the more you receive, the more you give. Meaning the more you plug into your own energy, the more you plug into various ways to fill up your cup, then you can give and from a more abundant space.
Ask yourself this in any moment: “How can I nurture myself?”
5. Unique Expression
When you really fully embody, connect with and know who you really are, that is what’s most important, Meghan says. If we try to be someone we aren’t, we are going to attract the wrong people. No matter what, some people are going to like you and some people aren’t. Be your true self and the right people will find you.“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”
“You’re not here to serve the world, you’re here to serve your world.” That is something one of Meghan’s mentors said to her that really stuck. She explains it as if you’re trying to be everything for everyone, you’re not going to serve anyone. But if you know who you are, you’re embodied in your true essence and you shine your light from that place, your people will find you. And those are the people you want to serve.
Don’t be afraid of losing people because then you’ll lose yourself in the process. If some people don’t love and accept you at your truest self, or whatever new level you’re on, it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Keep shining in your unique way. And trust your truth always.
“We’re nothing to anyone if we aren’t anything to ourselves.”
6. Invest In Yourself
This is so important. As scary as it is to invest in yourself, you are worth it, you are enough.
Find what works for you at this moment in time. That may be reading books and then it could evolve into hiring a life coach/mentor. This practice will look different for everybody. What matters is that you find a way to invest in yourself that best works for you, that best serves you.
To start today, look at who you follow on social media. Start following people who are in a space that you want to be in or are working towards. Surround yourself with those people who have what you want to absorb their wisdom.
I hope you found this post helpful and can start stepping into who you really are! Listen to the full conversation between Meghan and me here.
Resources: Listen to the full podcast episode "How To Heal Yourself & Be Who You Really Are" here!