Do you ever beat yourself up and want to give up on a goal because you “aren’t THERE yet?” You know, that elusive “there” that we all want to be at where we’re standing at the end of our goal and raising our arms victoriously because WE MADE IT! So often when we set out on a new goal, we’re at the beginning or the middle, and that isn’t ideal for us because we want to be THERE.
I decided to hike Camelback Mountain with my friend, and if you’re from Arizona, you know this mountain is the beasts of all beasts. The first time I hiked it, I didn’t make it to the top due to running out of time. But this time, I made it, and I was so proud of myself! Even more important than making it to the summit itself, was how I got there and the conversation about goals my friend and I had on the way up.
If you’ve never read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, do yourself a favor and give it a go! The book talks about ‘upper limits.’ An upper limit is essentially the ceiling to what your belief is around anything. The more you think about your upper limits in life–whether it be with yourself, your relationships, career or goals–the more you will notice how you talk to yourself and how you hold yourself back because of your own upper limits.
My upper belief for so long has been “I couldn’t have it all.” When it came to growing a successful business and being the best me I could be, I would always put myself on the back burner and my business came first.
Why did I do that? I was literally sabotaging myself because of my upper limit that I believed I couldn’t have it all and be it all. I wanted to begin believing “I can.” So I changed my belief to “I can have it all.” And I’m going to give it all to myself.
My friend who I hiked with, we’re both very goal-oriented people. So naturally, we talked about our goals as we hiked. She is a realtor and explained how she has this lofty goal of how many houses she wants to sell this year. But she shared that her upper limit is that she doesn’t believe it’s possible or that she’ll achieve it.
It got me thinking, how can we break that big goal down into a step by step process?
So often I won’t celebrate myself, but instead, focus too much on the big goal and whether I’ve accomplished it yet and what it will take to get there. We are always looking to the endpoint and not looking at how far we’ve come. With this mindset, we end up discrediting our journey just because we haven’t reached the end. That is no way to successfully accomplish your goals.
While it’s so important to always have your eyes on the end goal, it’s also so important (if not more) to focus on how far you’ve come and that you even started. This is the perspective that makes winners.
In that conversation on our hike, I was immediately reminded of my mantra I use to overcome my upper limits. I asked my friend how many houses she had already sold to which she told me 12. I looked at her with a smirk and said, “You are doing it.”
That’s it. That’s my mantra. “I am doing it.”
All the things I think aren’t possible or I’m not doing just because I haven’t hit the endpoint is total bullsh*t. It is possible because I AM doing it. I have to remind myself every day to look at how far I’ve come already, and if I can do this, I can do so much more.
It’s never a straight path to the top of the mountain (certainly was pretty rocky to the top of Camelback!) But as long as we remember to anchor ourselves along the way by acknowledging what we’ve accomplished so far, making it to the top will be that much easier.
Whatever your journey(s) may be, don’t forget that you ARE doing it!
Get the book The Big Leap here.